Disremembrance
by Slo Motion
Summary: But if I forget myself…will you remember me? Mary centered.


**Title: **"Disremembrance"

**Main Character(s): **Mary Camden-Rivera

**Author: **Slo Motion

**Rating: **K

**Genre: **Drama, song-inspired-story

**Main POV:** Mary

**Character Death: **Nada

**Coupling: **None

**Songs Used: **"Disremembrance" by Dannii Minogue

**Setting: **Season 10

**Disclaimer: **You all know the drill, 7th Heaven is not mine or neither is the song "Disremembrance" by Dannii Minogue, which inspired this. Lyrics can be found at the bottom of the page.

**Summary: **_But if I forget myself…will you remember me?_

**A/N: **My first story in ages, I know. I'm sorry, I have terrible writers block. Also, "Know Your Stars" is still being written to!

Will someone remember me?

I am lost. My mind is in a state of confusion. Any thoughts I have are twisted into a deep, dark void.

I cannot sleep at night. I'm in this too deep. Something deep inside me keeps me up at night. Maybe it's insomnia, or maybe I've just lost it piece by piece over the years.

I'm losing myself. I haven't been true to myself since I was seventeen.

I had to be the bad girl and wreck the gym, didn't I? I had to have revenge, show them all that they couldn't hold me down. I had to blow it all.

I lost almost everything that night. The only thing that I had left hanging by a thread was the love of my family. But I still lost my friends, my trust, my respect, and my scholarship. It all slipped away.

Then came Robbie. He was a mistake, we were a mistake. It was never a good idea for us to be together. We were both young, stupid, and at bad times in our lives. Robbie's better off with someone else.

I never wanted to take the twin's money, believe me. I never wanted to steal from my own little brothers, but I was helpless. I had no job and no money and all those bills to pay. And I was just to darn high and mighty to tell my parents I needed them so I let my siblings help me. I let them steal for me.

Buffalo was a cold place. No love, no heart, no anything. Grandma and The Colonel run a tight shift in their home. They were cold towards me, telling me how I was throwing my life away by not going to college.

Wilson and I getting back together was another mistake. Wilson was a part of my old life, the perfect. I knew it was stupid but I still stayed with him, right up until I broke his heart. Right up until I broke his spirit.

My life went on and on with me doing stupid thing after stupid thing. Then I married Carlos.

We had little Charlie soon enough. I was a mother. I screwed that up too. I left Carlos and Charlie. I abandoned my own family. I feel so low.

I don't mean to lead this life, but I've lost myself. I've lost the old Mary Camden. I have forgotten myself.

Will someone remember me? Please...

"_Disremembrance" by Dannii Minogue_

_I feel so calm tonight __  
__Like I'm floating into space __  
__I feel my anger now __  
__Vanishing without a trace __  
__I feel so weak tonight __  
__I'm no longer in control __  
__I feel so different now __  
__That it's time to face my soul _

_You gave me the time __  
__To change the memories __  
__But if I forget myself __  
__Will you remember me _

_(Remember me, remember me) __  
__Will you remember me __  
__Oh love, oh love __  
__Will you remember me _

_(Remember me, remember me) __  
__Will you remember me __  
__Oh love, oh love __  
__Will you remember me _

_I feel so bright tonight __  
__Like I'm glowing in the dark __  
__I feel so distant now __  
__Burning like the smallest spark __  
__I feel so faint tonight __  
__Like I'm hardly even there __  
__I feel much older now __  
__But I'm still too young to care _

_You gave me the hope __  
__That this was meant to be __  
__But if I forget myself __  
__Will you remember me _

_(Remember me, remember me) __  
__Will you remember me __  
__Oh love, oh love __  
__Will you remember me _

_(Remember me, remember me) __  
__Will you remember me? __  
__Oh love, oh love __  
__Will you remember me _

_Oh love _

_I feel so different now __  
__I feel so different now _

_I feel no fear tonight __  
__I feel no pain __  
__I don't know what I feel __  
__Or hope to gain _

_(Remember me, remember me) __  
__Will you remember me __  
__Oh love, oh love __  
__Will you remember me _

_(Remember me, remember me) __  
__Will you remember me __  
__Oh love, oh love __  
__Will you remember me _

_Remember me, Remember me_

**A/N: **Hope you enjoyed, please review!

Slo Motion


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